Could four hamburgers in a can for 99p possibly be any good? That’s the question I asked myself as I walked past a shelf full of Westlers’ Hamburgers in my local supermarket.
In a word, no.
As I opened the tin, the first thing that hit me was the smell – almost like dog food mixed with tinned ravioli. The smell alone was enough to make me not want to try them; however, I kept an open mind and would reserve judgement until I tasted them. Interestingly, the burgers are described on the can as 42% hamburger, 42% pork and 26% bacon. In terms of presentation, this is probably one of the worst items of food I’ve ever seen, even by canned food standards. Swimming in a beef gravy, the burgers almost resembled jelly, jiggling on the fork as I lifted them out of the tin to put it on the plate.
As I held the fork and watched the slime ooze from the burger, it fell from the fork and slapped down on to the plate like a slab of rotting flesh. The can advised to cook them in the microwave for two minutes, stir and then cook again for one minute. In all of my years eating and making burgers, I had never been required to stir any of them until now. It even states that they are already pre-cooked, but there was no way I was prepared to eat them cold! I popped it in the microwave and as soon as it began to cook, the smell described earlier intensified and engulfed the entire kitchen. After a few minutes, it was time to taste!
If I was asked to describe Westlers’ canned hamburgers, I’d say that the experience was like meat flavoured jelly which was coated in slime, both in terms of taste and texture.
Despite being formed into a shape that resembled a patty, the burgers turned to mush with one bite and, as described, had a jelly like consistency. In terms of taste, I wouldn’t even describe it as beef – just some form of low quality meat flavoured mush. Unsurprsingly, it didn’t taste pleasant and after chewing my first bite a few times, I had no choice but to spit it out. These were so bad that I wouldn’t have even fed them to my dog – and he eats anything!
It’s hard to describe just how bad these burgers are. So bad that I couldn’t even swallow one bite, and I’ve had some bad burgers in my time! With the widespread availability of frozen burgers for roughly the same price, it’s hard to imagine who is actually buying these. Resembling nothing more than mushy beef yoghurt on the inside, I’d be interested to find out just how many of these supermarkets actually sell.
Not even a mountain of toppings and a good quality sourdough bun could make these taste good. Avoid at all costs. The worst burger I’ve ever had, only slightly surpassing the burger from Charlie Rocks in Glasgow’s west end.
If anyone can suggest a burger worse than this, please let us know!